(In Mandy's Spanish voice): In-cre-di-ble!

Things keep happening that continually amaze me, because really, you can't make this stuff up, so I must share yet another.

Let me preface this by saying that although I am not a religious person, I do believe that sacred places or places of worship should be treated with quiet respect, whether it be a mosque, church, temple, wat, cemetery, Buddha statue, pagoda, whatever. (I know that statement was common sense, but read on). And I like going to see Buddha statues because they are always smiling, welcoming and peaceful.

In Nha Trang, Vietnam, there is a lovely huge Buddha statue, pure white, up 150 steps, overlooking the city. When you get to the Pagoda, before you start the 150-step climb, there's a sign telling you that this is a place of peace and you should behave as such.

Before we got to this sign, however, a tout had spotted us and tried to tell us which way to go (which was the wrong way) so that he could take us on a tour and then make us pay an exorbitant amount of money. We had been warned about this and other scams in the area.

So we politely declined (well, politely until he refused to give up, so my friend just told him to go away) then started up the steps, frequently bothered by children selling incense, asking for money, or whatever.

Then we got to the top and had a look at the peaceful, smiling Buddha, took some photos, and walked around. At the back of the statue there is a little temple, so I went inside, and right as I took my shoes off (which you must do to enter a Buddhist temple, and I have done dozens of times before, as everyone else does, with no drama) two little kids came up and tried to take my shoes! I quickly snatched them up, thank you very much and carried them inside with me (but respectfully placing them behind my back). I quickly figured out that their scam is not to steal your shoes, per se, but to move them, so that when you get out of the temple you will give them money for doing so. Nice. And the people in front of me, who didn't see the kids take their shoes, had to do this just that so the kids would release their hostage shoes.

So I go back outside and watch what turns in to a mini child gang fight. One 8-year old girl was yelling at one much smaller 5-year old girl, then a few others came over and got in to the mix. They were yelling at each other in Vietnamese, so we couldn't understand a word, but by their body language, I assume it went something like this:

"Beee-atch, you are in my territory. How many times to I have to tell you that you can sell incense to the tourists at the front but I get the back by the temple."

"Nu-uh, this is a better position. More people are here, I need more of the action."

"I've been here longer than you, and I'm older and bigger, so get your skanky ass back to the other side or just piss off."

"Listen, skank. You always try to bully me just because you are older. Why don't you go find someone else to pick on and let me get paid."

(The foreshadowing of their futures, fighting over street territory is just too alarming).

And of course while this is going, the shoe-stealers are running amok and screaming as well. Oh, and as an aside, can I just mention that the other day in a village a little girl, cute as she was, came over to a friend and went through all her pockets, looking for money or treats or toys. My friend didn't say anything and let the girl rummage, as I think she was just amused, but this little girl is a total pickpocket in training!

But I digress, back to the story.

We could have left, yes, but you can't pay for this sort of entertainment, so we carried on watching from a corner, as did the other adults in the area who felt no need to step in. If I spoke Vietnamese I would have given them a piece of my mind for being so disrespectful, and I know one Buddhist friend would have bitch-slapped them for their behavior (I did mention they were screaming right?).

So not long after, we hear a commotion at the front of the Buddha and three or four girls are in a full-on fight: hair-pulling, slapping, wrestling, you name it. It was a full-on brawl. And these kids were all aged five to 10. Finally an older lady came over and smacked a few of them with shoe so they would stop, which worked. But then they just moved to the back and started arguing again.

Where were their parents? Great question. I doubt the kids even see any of the money they get from the incense they sell, so most of them also beg on the side. It's downright awful, and I have no idea where they learned to behave this way. But it was, (insert my Spanish voice here) "in-cre-di-ble."

So that was my peaceful Buddha-visiting experience this morning.

Today, a visit to some mud baths and hot springs, then an overnight train ride to Ho Chi Minh City, where the traffic and street-crossing is supposed to be more harrowing than in Hanoi. Wish me luck.